Sorry in advance - it's 2AM and I'm pretty tired, but I just want to rant for a brief second. So for Spanish class, we're currently studying feminicide in Cuidad Juárez, Mexico. Our homework this weekend was to watch a movie on reserve in the library - it's fiction, but it's centered on this issue of young women, often workers in the maquilas (factories) being kidnapped and brutally attacked and killed. I won't go into detail about what was actually shown in the movie, but it was horribly, horribly graphic and involved rape and brutal murder and a lot of awful things that they just straight-up showed on screen. Now I'm already stressed out and in a really shitty mood, and I'm sitting alone on the 4th tier of Magill at 10:30pm, watching what I thought was going to be just another Spanish movie, and freaking out because I feel like I have to finish it, or at least keep watching enough to know the ending.
Like, can I get a trigger warning? ANY kind of warning? I don't remember her ever saying in class that the movie we were going to be watching would be graphic or violent, or anything like that. And I don't know if I'm overreacting or not, so I want to know what other people think. I was just so upset that I ended up basically fast-forwarding through a lot of the second half of the movie because I just couldn't watch it. And I saw plenty to be able to figure out what was going on in the movie, and even though I know it wasn't real, those images are haunting. Should we have been warned? Should watching that kind of thing be optional, even if it's for class or some other intellectual purpose? Or should people just be able to deal with it because it's fiction, like a horror movie?
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Accent Vlog!
I stole this from Jessi, cause it seems like a fun idea, and also because I've never made a vlog before. I want to know if anyone thinks I have an accent or say anything weird, cause I don't think I do, but hey, it's all relative :)
So here are the words and questions:
Some words that I think should be added but didn't think of before I made it: Museum, Enough, and Marinara.
"Museum" is kind of like "theater" in that I used to say myoo-Zam like "sam," but got made fun of so now I say "myoo-Zee-um." For "enough," I used to say "ee-Nuff," but someone made fun of me so now I say "uh-Nuff" or "eh-Nuff." My friend also told me the other day that I say "marinara" wrong (with both a's like in "arctic" instead of "air"). According to Josh, people in Washington (state, not DC) actually pronounce the t's at the end of words, like "quiet" or whatever, but I don't..or in the middle of words really (like Jessi said, "little" = liddle). Oh and in Boston we have this word "frappe," which I say as one syllable, like "frap." But it just means a milkshake. I say milkshake in everyday life or in a restaurant, but if you're getting one in an ice cream shop specifically it's probably on the menu as a frappe. Isn't that weird?
How do you guys say these things? Or better yet, post a vlog so I can see! :)
So here are the words and questions:
Aunt, Route, Theater, Iron, Caramel, Water, Sure, Data, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught/Cot, Dawn/Don
- What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
- What is the bug called that curls into a ball when you touch it?
- What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
- What do you call gym shoes?
- What do you say to address a group of people?
- What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
- What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
Some words that I think should be added but didn't think of before I made it: Museum, Enough, and Marinara.
"Museum" is kind of like "theater" in that I used to say myoo-Zam like "sam," but got made fun of so now I say "myoo-Zee-um." For "enough," I used to say "ee-Nuff," but someone made fun of me so now I say "uh-Nuff" or "eh-Nuff." My friend also told me the other day that I say "marinara" wrong (with both a's like in "arctic" instead of "air"). According to Josh, people in Washington (state, not DC) actually pronounce the t's at the end of words, like "quiet" or whatever, but I don't..or in the middle of words really (like Jessi said, "little" = liddle). Oh and in Boston we have this word "frappe," which I say as one syllable, like "frap." But it just means a milkshake. I say milkshake in everyday life or in a restaurant, but if you're getting one in an ice cream shop specifically it's probably on the menu as a frappe. Isn't that weird?
How do you guys say these things? Or better yet, post a vlog so I can see! :)
Ramble on Maintaining My Jewishness in College
I decided that for the first time since sophomore or junior year of high school, I'm going to keep Passover this year. There are a few reasons for this. It has nothing to do with God, or an actual belief in the Passover story. In fact, my dad just told me that since the Egyptians have no record at all of the Israelites ever having been in Egypt, much less enslaved and then magically freed, the whole thing is likely a myth that the higher-ups fabricated back in the day to make the Jews appreciate (and feel indebted to) God. It's actually mainly because I feel like I haven't met my Jewish quota for the year, and I feel really disconnected from the whole thing. I went to Rosh Hashannah eve services with JSU, and then fasted on Yom Kippur because I didn't feel like actually going to temple. I've never really liked services all that much anyway - I'm much more of a community Jew than a God-focused one. So I'll do things like fast and not eat bread because I'm part of the community. Even so, I never go to any JSU events or Shabbat dinners, and if I had planned this ahead, I could've participated in the Passover co-op instead of doing it on my own. So yes, it's in the spirit of community, because many Jews are also abstaining from eating leavened bread at this time, but I'm also kind of failing at actually actively being part of the community.
Anyway, my first and so far only meal after sundown last night was lunch this morning, at which they had my favorite: burgers. I always put cheese and lettuce on my burger, so I just did that but with a fork and knife instead of putting it on a bun. Good Jew, right? Wrong. It took two of my non-Jewish friends to make me realize that cheeseburgers aren't kosher. ...Fail.
I keep saying I'll go to JSU events, especially cause there's non-DC food at a lot of them (food: a main Jewish priority), but I'm always just too busy or unmotivated or don't have a friend to go with. But all my life before college I was always at temple at least once a week for Hebrew School, which I went to through 12th grade; I served on two committees and was on the board of my youth group for three years. I'm facebook friends with both my rabbis (wait, everyone chill out, they're both young), and I'm still in touch with my youth group advisor (who incidentally graduated from Haverford in '07). But I got here and, poof, no more community Jew. I guess at home I didn't have to try. I also didn't have to feel bad about not keeping kosher for Passover, since I was at temple all the time anyway and didn't really see the purpose (quota, like I said, even if it's subconscious). But here I have to try, and actively think about how I'm going stay a part of this community. I have no back-up quota for if I don't want to go to High Holy Day services because I don't really like praying anyway, but still feel enough like a part of the community. If I don't go, and I don't keep kosher for passover, then I've done nothing Jewish the entire year, and then I feel like I'm abandoning it, which I don't want to do.
I don't know where this ramble was going. I think my cheeseburger fail earlier today just made me see the difference between my intentions, or my ideal, and what has actually ended up happening once I came to college. In theory, I'd love to go to JSU or whatever and keep up that part of my identity, but it just hasn't happened, and I feel like I'd be lying to myself if I made a promise to start being active once I come back from abroad. I guess we'll see.
Oh, and for your amusement, here are some Passover- or exodus-related videos:
Anyway, my first and so far only meal after sundown last night was lunch this morning, at which they had my favorite: burgers. I always put cheese and lettuce on my burger, so I just did that but with a fork and knife instead of putting it on a bun. Good Jew, right? Wrong. It took two of my non-Jewish friends to make me realize that cheeseburgers aren't kosher. ...Fail.
I keep saying I'll go to JSU events, especially cause there's non-DC food at a lot of them (food: a main Jewish priority), but I'm always just too busy or unmotivated or don't have a friend to go with. But all my life before college I was always at temple at least once a week for Hebrew School, which I went to through 12th grade; I served on two committees and was on the board of my youth group for three years. I'm facebook friends with both my rabbis (wait, everyone chill out, they're both young), and I'm still in touch with my youth group advisor (who incidentally graduated from Haverford in '07). But I got here and, poof, no more community Jew. I guess at home I didn't have to try. I also didn't have to feel bad about not keeping kosher for Passover, since I was at temple all the time anyway and didn't really see the purpose (quota, like I said, even if it's subconscious). But here I have to try, and actively think about how I'm going stay a part of this community. I have no back-up quota for if I don't want to go to High Holy Day services because I don't really like praying anyway, but still feel enough like a part of the community. If I don't go, and I don't keep kosher for passover, then I've done nothing Jewish the entire year, and then I feel like I'm abandoning it, which I don't want to do.
I don't know where this ramble was going. I think my cheeseburger fail earlier today just made me see the difference between my intentions, or my ideal, and what has actually ended up happening once I came to college. In theory, I'd love to go to JSU or whatever and keep up that part of my identity, but it just hasn't happened, and I feel like I'd be lying to myself if I made a promise to start being active once I come back from abroad. I guess we'll see.
Oh, and for your amusement, here are some Passover- or exodus-related videos:
Monday, April 18, 2011
Things You Learn in College, but Not in Class
Except I edited it, because not everything is applicable...
- Quarters are like gold. Flip-flops become as important as soap, and shampoo.
- Asleep by 2:30 AM is an early night.
- New additions to the food groups: Coffee, chips, soft serve, and oreos.
- Make sure your alarm clock has back-up batteries.
- Duct tape heals all wounds.
- Showers become less important.
- Sleep becomes more important.
- 10 minutes is more than enough time to get ready for your first class.
- Going to the mailbox was never an ego-booster (or ego-breaker) before.
- You begin to nap again.
- The book your professor wrote is always required for his class.
- E-mail becomes your second language.
- Lacrosse parties are exactly like they are in the movies.
- Ten-page papers used to sound impossible, now they’re a Godsend.
- You never realized so many people are smarter than you.
- You never realized so many people are dumber than you.
- Bum rides, money, notes and snacks as much as you can get them.
- Plain pasta never constituted a complete meal before.
- Forget putting the toilet seat down, you just pray that they flush.
- Frisbee becomes a contact sport.
- Care packages rank up there with birthdays.
- Pop a vitamin and breakfast is covered.
- Learn to love your roommate, especially when he leaves you the room.
- You always thought that worshipping the porcelain god was just an expression, but it’s not.
- Printers only break down when you desperately need them.
- Even though the beds are long, they are also extra narrow.
- Things that were a huge deal in high school are now commonplace.
- You never thought you would share so much about yourself with people you have known for such a short time
- Any game can be made into a drinking game.
- Disney movies are more than just classics.
- Find one thing you like in the dining hall and go with it.
- You will hear more stupid nicknames than you ever thought possible.
- Phone calls almost never happen and when they do, you just don’t get the messages.
- Cereal makes a meal any time of day.
- Keep your high school term papers; nowadays, everything is recycled.
- ATMs are the devil’s advocate.
- Beware the boy in the Care Bear toga.
- You almost forget how to drive.
- You’ll drink anything if it’s free.
- You get really good with excuses for skipping class.
- The girl you’re going to marry may live right next door, so keep your stereo down.
- Ordering food at 1 AM is a common occurrence.
- You never realized how cool you can be.
- TV becomes a bigger time sucker than ever before.
- You realize how great your hell summer job was once you have to study.
- Keys have never been so important, yet you seem to lose them more than ever before.
- You learn to sleep with light, noise, extreme temperatures, and roommates snoring.
- You don’t have to cover your textbooks anymore.
- You become a juggler with the balance between school, friends, girls/boys, activities, work, parties.
- You live for chicken finger day at the cafeteria.
- People that were geeks in high school seem okay now.
- You begin to realize that college is about the ideal lifestyle, except for those pesky classes.
- You get good at rationalizing on whether to do homework or not.
- Procrastination becomes an art.
- Jeans may be worn as many times as the wearer desires.
- The only reason you ever dress up is when everything else is dirty.
- With all the wealth of knowledge around you, you start to feel like you’re on intellectual welfare.
- Going to the mini-mart is a major treat.
- Amount of alcohol consumed is inversely proportional to grade point average.
- You have two kinds of shoes: everyday shoes and party shoes.
- Classes: the later the better.
- The cute people actually talk to you now.
- Care packages make it all worthwhile.
- The longer you’re there, the less you talk about home.
- Always wear your safety goggles. They’re not kidding.
- You don’t learn last names.
- Card games never lasted for hours before.
- Vacuuming happens every semester, if you get around to it.
- Boys will dance in college.
- People who never talked to you in high school are now your best friends when you come home.
- You are NEVER alone.
- It’s amazing how late you can stay up doing absolutely nothing, yet falling asleep in class or in the library takes an average of two seconds.
- You spend a ridiculous amount of time pondering the mystery of whether the Lucky Charms in the cafeteria are the real thing. (They're not.)
- People magazine is your deep philosophical reading material.
- All you have to do to make new friends is have mom send some cookies.
- You never realized how quiet your house was.
- Dishes aren’t dirty enough to wash until they have bugs and / or mold in them.
- You get along so much better with your family now that you never see any of them.
- Your life will never be the same again.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Happy Pinwheel Day!
Here are all the reasons why today is awesome:
- It's Pinwheel Day! For those of you outside the Haverbubble, Pinwheel Day is when the magical black squirrel comes in the night and covers Founders Green with pinwheels. (Actually, it's probably the arboretum.) It signifies spring, and I think it's supposed to be on the first super-warm day when it won't get cold again. It's also on a weekday I think.
- I made myself eggs over easy in the DC this morning, which is one of my favorite breakfasts
- I got my picture taken with the HCBlackSquirrel, which got posted on Twitter!!! Check out @HCblacksquirrel
- It's super warm and beautiful out
- There are gorgeous flowers everywhere
- It was grilled cheese for lunch
- I basked in the sun
- There is a lovely breeze in my room
- It's Pinwheel Day!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Existential Thoughts on Life and Death
You guys, I don't want to be depressing. But sometimes shit is fucking depressing, you know? I can't get this off my mind. I have this acquaintance. Friend. I don't know. I eat breakfast with her a couple times a week, but that's all I ever really see of her, and she's a good friend of a good friend. Beyond that, since some people at Haverford now read this, I don't want to identify her. But like, her sister died. In some freak accident on an exchange trip. I don't know what happened because I haven't asked, and honestly I'm getting this info from someone else's blog in the first place. But I can't stop thinking about it. Why the fuck would that happen? These two English teachers at my high school, Mr. Flaggert and Mr. Koup, always used to say in class whenever we studied anything remotely existential or involving death that it's like, at any second a plane could fall from the sky, or you could scratch your hand on the desk and get an infection, or someone could hit you driving home - anyone could die at any second. And then when I was a senior, they found this random blood clot in Mr. Koup's leg and he was in the hospital for a couple days, but they caught it removed it and he was fine. And we were all like "Holy shit it's true, he could've died from this random blood clot - anyone can die at any second." But you don't really grasp something like that. Why do "freak accidents" happen to random people? Why a 16-year-old with friends and a family? It's like this giant fluke in the world. And it's not even really my thing; I never knew her, and I'm not even that close to her sister. But I can't stop thinking about it. I just don't get why anyone should have to go through this.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Ramble on Home
Before spring break, I started this post, which I never posted. I'm starting over now, but a lot of the thoughts are the same.
I feel like I'm hitting that point in my college career where I don't really know where home is anymore. I feel like home is where I have my life, and my routine. But I have a life in two places, a routine in two places, close friends and even family in two places. In Massachusetts, I have Needham and Boston, which are two places that will always be home to me, despite any issues I have with Needham's culture. It's where I grew up, and my loyalties will always be to my hometown and my home city. My house is a different issue; that hasn't felt like home for awhile. I mean, it does. It's my house. But it hasn't been a homey house for years. It's not a place where I can cook or sit on a couch and watch TV or really be anywhere besides eating in the kitchen or hanging out/working in my room. My room is home. But at the same time, my room is home because of my things, and all of the things that I need or use are either here with me in PA or come out of a suitcase when I'm in Needham. That's not really home. Sometimes when I'm there on break, I feel like I'm borrowing my room, inhabiting it for a short time. Sure, everything on the walls is mine, but everything feels dated. The pictures are all from 8th-12th grade; the Sunday comics on my closet door date back to 2006. I was the one who put everything on those walls, but I did it so many years ago, it's like a record of my high school years rather than something that continues to grow and change and be mine. I have a routine in Needham too; I know my way around, I have places I go. But that routine is contingent on my friends' being home at the same time as I am, which doesn't always happen, and then it feels like I'm just going back to this place that I've left, that isn't really mine anymore.
Haverford is home too, and Gummere is home, and my hall and my dorm room are home. But they're homes that will expire on May 15th, at least the Gummere part, and my lease on Haverford is up in May 2013. Can home be home, or as homey as the place I grew up, if it's that temporary? Maybe I'm spoiled to have such a permanent concept of home. But at the same time, I feel like the harder I cling to the Haverbubble, the harder it will be to let go of when I graduate. Yes, I'm clinging hard, and it will be hard. But I always have that in the back of my mind, that one day I have to leave. My room is home, but I have to set it up again every year, and figure out what to put in a suitcase when I go back and forth so that I can feel most comfortable in both places. I don't know yet what will be home next year - maybe Jones - but until January I won't even have a home because I'll be in Argentina, where I'll be living in someone else's house for five months. Once I get back, I'll have a room and a suite and a dorm again, but only for a semester. I definitely feel at home on this campus, in this community, if not in a particular dorm, but as I said before, the community will kick me out after senior year, and life will go on.
I feel like I'm at that stage in life where I don't have a home, or I'm in between homes. That sort of scares me, but it's thrilling at the same time. Whenever I hear stories in movies or from real life of people setting off with nothing, or with a suitcase, or with whatever can fit in the trunk of their car, it terrifies me. I'm so material, and so connected to places and spaces. I don't know how I could ever stand to do that. But at the same time, I kind of want to, just to prove to myself that I can. Maybe someday I will. When I go abroad, I will be doing that in a way, although I'll be coming back afterwards. I'll have to do it when I graduate. I can't use my Needham room as a storage place forever, and once I set out on my own, that room definitely won't be home anymore.
In Garden State, there's this scene where Andrew and Sam are sitting in a pool, and he says to her, "You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of home is gone.... You'll see one day when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I don't know, but I miss the idea of it, you know. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people that miss the same imaginary place."
I don't believe the last part about a family being a group of people that miss the same imaginary place, but the rest of it seems totally legit to me. I feel like my house isn't entirely home anymore, that home is sort of somewhere in between that house and Haverford and the world at large. And I won't be settling down anywhere for awhile, so I guess for the next however many years, home will be in between. I think that'll be good for me though, that rite of passage.
I feel like I'm hitting that point in my college career where I don't really know where home is anymore. I feel like home is where I have my life, and my routine. But I have a life in two places, a routine in two places, close friends and even family in two places. In Massachusetts, I have Needham and Boston, which are two places that will always be home to me, despite any issues I have with Needham's culture. It's where I grew up, and my loyalties will always be to my hometown and my home city. My house is a different issue; that hasn't felt like home for awhile. I mean, it does. It's my house. But it hasn't been a homey house for years. It's not a place where I can cook or sit on a couch and watch TV or really be anywhere besides eating in the kitchen or hanging out/working in my room. My room is home. But at the same time, my room is home because of my things, and all of the things that I need or use are either here with me in PA or come out of a suitcase when I'm in Needham. That's not really home. Sometimes when I'm there on break, I feel like I'm borrowing my room, inhabiting it for a short time. Sure, everything on the walls is mine, but everything feels dated. The pictures are all from 8th-12th grade; the Sunday comics on my closet door date back to 2006. I was the one who put everything on those walls, but I did it so many years ago, it's like a record of my high school years rather than something that continues to grow and change and be mine. I have a routine in Needham too; I know my way around, I have places I go. But that routine is contingent on my friends' being home at the same time as I am, which doesn't always happen, and then it feels like I'm just going back to this place that I've left, that isn't really mine anymore.
Haverford is home too, and Gummere is home, and my hall and my dorm room are home. But they're homes that will expire on May 15th, at least the Gummere part, and my lease on Haverford is up in May 2013. Can home be home, or as homey as the place I grew up, if it's that temporary? Maybe I'm spoiled to have such a permanent concept of home. But at the same time, I feel like the harder I cling to the Haverbubble, the harder it will be to let go of when I graduate. Yes, I'm clinging hard, and it will be hard. But I always have that in the back of my mind, that one day I have to leave. My room is home, but I have to set it up again every year, and figure out what to put in a suitcase when I go back and forth so that I can feel most comfortable in both places. I don't know yet what will be home next year - maybe Jones - but until January I won't even have a home because I'll be in Argentina, where I'll be living in someone else's house for five months. Once I get back, I'll have a room and a suite and a dorm again, but only for a semester. I definitely feel at home on this campus, in this community, if not in a particular dorm, but as I said before, the community will kick me out after senior year, and life will go on.
I feel like I'm at that stage in life where I don't have a home, or I'm in between homes. That sort of scares me, but it's thrilling at the same time. Whenever I hear stories in movies or from real life of people setting off with nothing, or with a suitcase, or with whatever can fit in the trunk of their car, it terrifies me. I'm so material, and so connected to places and spaces. I don't know how I could ever stand to do that. But at the same time, I kind of want to, just to prove to myself that I can. Maybe someday I will. When I go abroad, I will be doing that in a way, although I'll be coming back afterwards. I'll have to do it when I graduate. I can't use my Needham room as a storage place forever, and once I set out on my own, that room definitely won't be home anymore.
In Garden State, there's this scene where Andrew and Sam are sitting in a pool, and he says to her, "You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of home is gone.... You'll see one day when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I don't know, but I miss the idea of it, you know. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people that miss the same imaginary place."
I don't believe the last part about a family being a group of people that miss the same imaginary place, but the rest of it seems totally legit to me. I feel like my house isn't entirely home anymore, that home is sort of somewhere in between that house and Haverford and the world at large. And I won't be settling down anywhere for awhile, so I guess for the next however many years, home will be in between. I think that'll be good for me though, that rite of passage.
Things That Are Motivating Me Right Now
This card, for one, which I keep in my desk drawer:
I also really love this worry stone I got at this awesome store in Provincetown two summers ago. I always keep it in my purse (as you can see from the sides of it, which used to be white). I do always try to listen to my heart, and anyway, I think my heart would win out even if I didn't, because that's just how I am. But it's a comfort whenever I look at it, to see it and just know that whatever happens, and no matter how much I want to stress out and overanalyze everything, I should just stay true to what my heart and my gut tell me, and I'll be fine. It's so simple, and so clear.
Maybe these things can inspire you too!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
BEST THING EVER
This week's episode of Glee.
Also all the gifs here that I would post, but apparently Blogger doesn't like gifs. And they'll probably go away soon anyway.
Also this quote:
Brittany: This relationship is confusing for me.
Santana: Breakfast is confusing for you.
Brittany: Well, sometimes it's sweet, sometimes it's salty, like, what if I have eggs for dinner, then...what is it?
Also all the gifs here that I would post, but apparently Blogger doesn't like gifs. And they'll probably go away soon anyway.
Also this quote:
Brittany: This relationship is confusing for me.
Santana: Breakfast is confusing for you.
Brittany: Well, sometimes it's sweet, sometimes it's salty, like, what if I have eggs for dinner, then...what is it?
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Everyone Is Gay...dot com
But seriously.
http://everyoneisgay.com/
This website makes me die laughing. It brings me close to tears. Some of their advice is just so true I want to save it forever and ever an remind myself of it when I'm having troubles or doubts in life or relationships or friendships or whatever.
Also I'm really bored on break and I'm almost up to page 40 of it.
But today's advice about hate just really made me think. And it made me sad. And on page 38 they give advice about unconditional love, and conditional love like "I only love you when you're acting this way" being bullshit. And I know I don't ever update this thing anymore but I just want to proclaim my love for this website.
It's awesome. Go check it out.
http://everyoneisgay.com/
This website makes me die laughing. It brings me close to tears. Some of their advice is just so true I want to save it forever and ever an remind myself of it when I'm having troubles or doubts in life or relationships or friendships or whatever.
Also I'm really bored on break and I'm almost up to page 40 of it.
But today's advice about hate just really made me think. And it made me sad. And on page 38 they give advice about unconditional love, and conditional love like "I only love you when you're acting this way" being bullshit. And I know I don't ever update this thing anymore but I just want to proclaim my love for this website.
It's awesome. Go check it out.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
I can't not finish this, but I'm too impatient.
Part 12 - Someone/something you don’t like.
The smell of trash
Part 13 - What you want more than anything right now.
That you could block texts
Part 14 - A letter to someone. Anyone.
Dear Aubree,
You are sitting next to me. You are also really awesome. ♥
-Liza
Part 15 - Something you regret.
Not worth having regrets
Part 16 - A list of songs that make you emotional.
Sing by the Dresden Dolls; Song of the Children
Part 17 - A picture of you last year and how you have changed since then.
Too lazy. I look the same, I promise.
Part 18 - What you think about your friends.
I love them lots. Self-explanatory.
Part 19 - A picture of you and your family.
Later
Part 20 - A habit you wish you didn’t have.
Saying "I mean" too much
Part 21 - Another celebrity you’d like in your bed.
Jake Gyllenhaal or however the fuck you spell it
Part 22 - Song lyrics you can really relate to at the moment.
I can't think of any. I'm also not really trying.
Part 23 - The next plan you have coming up that you’re really excited for.
seeing Alex and Lizzy in philly!
Part 24 - The last photo taken of you and someone else.
Again, too lazy to do photos
Part 25 - A photo of someone you fancy at the moment.
Don't have one unfortunately
Part 26 - A secret.
I don't have any secrets. Shhh don't tell.
Part 27 - A photo of someone who has had a big impact on you.
Nooooo no photos
Part 28 - A photo of anything.
No.
Part 29 - Plans/dreams/goals you have.
Floss every day this year, go to Argentina, graduate college, get a job, have a family, do fun things this weekend
Part 30 - What have you learned in the past 30 days
A lot of things at the bi-co winter social justice institute...wooo!
The smell of trash
Part 13 - What you want more than anything right now.
That you could block texts
Part 14 - A letter to someone. Anyone.
Dear Aubree,
You are sitting next to me. You are also really awesome. ♥
-Liza
Part 15 - Something you regret.
Not worth having regrets
Part 16 - A list of songs that make you emotional.
Sing by the Dresden Dolls; Song of the Children
Part 17 - A picture of you last year and how you have changed since then.
Too lazy. I look the same, I promise.
Part 18 - What you think about your friends.
I love them lots. Self-explanatory.
Part 19 - A picture of you and your family.
Later
Part 20 - A habit you wish you didn’t have.
Saying "I mean" too much
Part 21 - Another celebrity you’d like in your bed.
Jake Gyllenhaal or however the fuck you spell it
Part 22 - Song lyrics you can really relate to at the moment.
I can't think of any. I'm also not really trying.
Part 23 - The next plan you have coming up that you’re really excited for.
seeing Alex and Lizzy in philly!
Part 24 - The last photo taken of you and someone else.
Again, too lazy to do photos
Part 25 - A photo of someone you fancy at the moment.
Don't have one unfortunately
Part 26 - A secret.
I don't have any secrets. Shhh don't tell.
Part 27 - A photo of someone who has had a big impact on you.
Nooooo no photos
Part 28 - A photo of anything.
No.
Part 29 - Plans/dreams/goals you have.
Floss every day this year, go to Argentina, graduate college, get a job, have a family, do fun things this weekend
Part 30 - What have you learned in the past 30 days
A lot of things at the bi-co winter social justice institute...wooo!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Walking up early does strange things to my mind.
Here is my thought process at 6:30am the third day in a row of waking up that early:
This isn't worth the money. My body is confused and it's pitch black and I don't know why I willingly chose to do this. Was I insane?!
WAIT. I am never sleeping again.
Actually.
For some illogical reason involving Christmas and Fairleigh's coming to Boston on Monday, I can't sleep in this weekend.
And I am working this break.
And then I will go back to school and start doing work and have customs and I won't sleep.
And that will continue until graduation.
And then I'll become a part of the real world and have a 9-5 job and I'll have to get up this early EVERY DAY UNTIL RETIREMENT AND I WILL NEVER GET SLEEP EVER AGAIN.
And then somewhere between turning off my alarm and brushing my teeth I realized that was completely 100% ridiculous, and also false.
In other news, Hyperbole and a Half completely owns my soul. I dare you to read it without laughing. Seriously. It's amazing.
This isn't worth the money. My body is confused and it's pitch black and I don't know why I willingly chose to do this. Was I insane?!
WAIT. I am never sleeping again.
Actually.
For some illogical reason involving Christmas and Fairleigh's coming to Boston on Monday, I can't sleep in this weekend.
And I am working this break.
And then I will go back to school and start doing work and have customs and I won't sleep.
And that will continue until graduation.
And then I'll become a part of the real world and have a 9-5 job and I'll have to get up this early EVERY DAY UNTIL RETIREMENT AND I WILL NEVER GET SLEEP EVER AGAIN.
And then somewhere between turning off my alarm and brushing my teeth I realized that was completely 100% ridiculous, and also false.
In other news, Hyperbole and a Half completely owns my soul. I dare you to read it without laughing. Seriously. It's amazing.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Also,
I recently came across this website. I think I have an unhealthy obsession with names. Potential names for my own future child/children, yes, but also just names in general. Much procrastination has occurred and will continue to occur, despite my deactivation of facebook until I get my finals done.
(Yes, I do have a "Procrastination" folder in my bookmarks. Between that and StumbleUpon, I don't think deactivating facebook really has all that much of an effect.)
(Yes, I do have a "Procrastination" folder in my bookmarks. Between that and StumbleUpon, I don't think deactivating facebook really has all that much of an effect.)
Ramble on Morality and the Global Economy
In advance, I'm really sorry that this is super not-uplifting. I think it's legit though.
For today's Quaker class, we read this Pendle Hill pamphlet by David Morse called "John Woolman on Today's Global Economy." Basically, John Woolman was this Quaker dude in the 1700s who wasn't a fan of slavery, and he boycotted slave-made products and traveled around telling other people why slavery was bad. That was super radical for his time. In the pamphlet, Morse uses Woolman's life as a point of comparison to today's world and all the injustices that go on - how would Woolman have responded? (WWWD?)
The clothes you're wearing, unless you got them all from American Apparel or another sweat-free source, were probably made by slave labor or children or under other horrible working conditions in some other country. Seriously. Check the tag. Does it say "Made in the USA"? Didn't think so. My sweatshirt says "Made in Lesotho." I've never even heard of Lesotho and I as a consumer am probably exploiting people there. (It's this one, for the record, one of the ones that's landlocked in the middle of South Africa.) My t-shirt was made in Pakistan, my jeans in China, and my leggings in Latvia. Children weave carpets in Nepal who sleep next to their looms, get no education or medical care, don't eat enough, end up with horrible ailments, and will probably be sexually abused in their lifetime. Where do those carpets end up? In the homes of people who live in the wealtheir parts of the world. (For the sake of academic integrity, I tried to paraphrase but really I just plagiarized a lot of that wording. Page 9, if you're wondering.) Oh, and bananas? Banana pickers in Ecuador are exposed to pesticides, and their union leaders are beaten or they "disappear." So what IS safe for the moral consumer to buy?
Well that's the kicker - we're left in the dark. It's nearly impossible for our "actions [to be] consonant with [our] beliefs" (10). Clearly Morse's words describe this way better: "Today we are invited to sit blindfolded within the box, to feel overwhelmed by the complexity of the world, to experience a paradoxical choicelessness before the glut of information and goods that bombards us daily. How can we restore our own field of moral choice" (19) when everyone is out to make a profit rather instead of paying attention to human rights and fair treatment and sustainability and honesty? The media doesn't report on it, the government doesn't regulate it, and the companies don't tell us what really goes on behind it.
So then he goes on about how we often praise the work of John Woolman or Gandhi or MLK, but we view ourselves as insufficient for that "depth of moral conviction" and "content [ourselves] with lesser goals and lesser degrees of passion." Maybe I could be the next Woolman. In fact I could be if I wanted to be. But realistically I probably won't be, since I'm not about to devote my life to attaining that level of goals and passion. I still plan on functioning within the confines of my society, quite frankly, even if it means not reaching my full moral potential. The question is, what CAN I do? What can I do today or tomorrow, small or big? Morse suggests things like working for non-profits and networking and talking to people, and he says something about "finding God in the supermarket," but I don't get that because he had already said we're denied information about the products we buy. Of course, that left me incredibly frustrated, because I got all worked up and then didn't get any real solutions or answers to my questions.
Here's another good one (last one, I swear): "When we are systematically denied a basis for making moral choices, we are forced to make amoral choices; this knowledge of our own complicity in turn reinforces our apathy, and thus we deny ourselves the possibility of a moral choice" (24). I fear that I fall into this category. I'll probably forget about this pamphlet within a month, even though I hope I don't. I'm so overwhelmed by my desire to end sweatshop labor and profit-focused greed and implement organic-ness and sustainability everywhere.
So then, our homework assignment was to come up with and do, in the next 48 hours, something to improve our moral choices. Something small, since we only have 48 hours. No leading a campus-wide fruit boycott or something drastic. So I cleaned out the brita pitcher in which the water has literally been gathering dust in my fridge (it tasted funny so I left it there to rot), so now I can stop gathering plastic water bottles. I also looked up American Apparel and sweatshop-free products on Google. I was surprised by how much is out there, but EVERYTHING IS SO FREAKING EXPENSIVE! Which it would be, since the whole point of exploiting people is to create cheap enough products to compete in the global marketplace. Which leads me to the conclusion that living a moral lifestyle within the context of the global economy is impossible unless you're privileged enough to be able to regularly afford $250 jackets and $40 leggings and $50 t-shirts. Which leaves me even MORE bitter and helpless-feeling. Why is it so hard?!
On a slightly more hopeful note though, John Woolman never saw slavery get abolished. He definitely didn't do all that work for nothing - he just unfortunately never got to see his efforts come to fruition. And for Thursday we have to skim through everything and find our favorite quotes from everything we read in the class, and one of the ones I found from another Pendle Hill pamphlet by Daniel O. Snyder was: "Together we learn to discern the contours of hope, for although we yearn to see and to celebrate the visible results of our work, we dare not anchor hope in the visible results of our work, for we are working toward a future that may be many generation in the making, a future that we may not see in our lifetime, indeed a future that may never exist. We learned that the work itself is our sign of hope ("Quaker Witness as Sacrament" 30). So I guess that's kind of pessimistic and optimistic at the same time - despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure what I can do, in terms of being overwhelmed by trying to end all evils in the world ASAP, it's just not going to happen in my lifetime and I need to accept that. That doesn't mean I can't or shouldn't work towards improvement so that it might happen in generations to come.
For today's Quaker class, we read this Pendle Hill pamphlet by David Morse called "John Woolman on Today's Global Economy." Basically, John Woolman was this Quaker dude in the 1700s who wasn't a fan of slavery, and he boycotted slave-made products and traveled around telling other people why slavery was bad. That was super radical for his time. In the pamphlet, Morse uses Woolman's life as a point of comparison to today's world and all the injustices that go on - how would Woolman have responded? (WWWD?)
The clothes you're wearing, unless you got them all from American Apparel or another sweat-free source, were probably made by slave labor or children or under other horrible working conditions in some other country. Seriously. Check the tag. Does it say "Made in the USA"? Didn't think so. My sweatshirt says "Made in Lesotho." I've never even heard of Lesotho and I as a consumer am probably exploiting people there. (It's this one, for the record, one of the ones that's landlocked in the middle of South Africa.) My t-shirt was made in Pakistan, my jeans in China, and my leggings in Latvia. Children weave carpets in Nepal who sleep next to their looms, get no education or medical care, don't eat enough, end up with horrible ailments, and will probably be sexually abused in their lifetime. Where do those carpets end up? In the homes of people who live in the wealtheir parts of the world. (For the sake of academic integrity, I tried to paraphrase but really I just plagiarized a lot of that wording. Page 9, if you're wondering.) Oh, and bananas? Banana pickers in Ecuador are exposed to pesticides, and their union leaders are beaten or they "disappear." So what IS safe for the moral consumer to buy?
Well that's the kicker - we're left in the dark. It's nearly impossible for our "actions [to be] consonant with [our] beliefs" (10). Clearly Morse's words describe this way better: "Today we are invited to sit blindfolded within the box, to feel overwhelmed by the complexity of the world, to experience a paradoxical choicelessness before the glut of information and goods that bombards us daily. How can we restore our own field of moral choice" (19) when everyone is out to make a profit rather instead of paying attention to human rights and fair treatment and sustainability and honesty? The media doesn't report on it, the government doesn't regulate it, and the companies don't tell us what really goes on behind it.
So then he goes on about how we often praise the work of John Woolman or Gandhi or MLK, but we view ourselves as insufficient for that "depth of moral conviction" and "content [ourselves] with lesser goals and lesser degrees of passion." Maybe I could be the next Woolman. In fact I could be if I wanted to be. But realistically I probably won't be, since I'm not about to devote my life to attaining that level of goals and passion. I still plan on functioning within the confines of my society, quite frankly, even if it means not reaching my full moral potential. The question is, what CAN I do? What can I do today or tomorrow, small or big? Morse suggests things like working for non-profits and networking and talking to people, and he says something about "finding God in the supermarket," but I don't get that because he had already said we're denied information about the products we buy. Of course, that left me incredibly frustrated, because I got all worked up and then didn't get any real solutions or answers to my questions.
Here's another good one (last one, I swear): "When we are systematically denied a basis for making moral choices, we are forced to make amoral choices; this knowledge of our own complicity in turn reinforces our apathy, and thus we deny ourselves the possibility of a moral choice" (24). I fear that I fall into this category. I'll probably forget about this pamphlet within a month, even though I hope I don't. I'm so overwhelmed by my desire to end sweatshop labor and profit-focused greed and implement organic-ness and sustainability everywhere.
So then, our homework assignment was to come up with and do, in the next 48 hours, something to improve our moral choices. Something small, since we only have 48 hours. No leading a campus-wide fruit boycott or something drastic. So I cleaned out the brita pitcher in which the water has literally been gathering dust in my fridge (it tasted funny so I left it there to rot), so now I can stop gathering plastic water bottles. I also looked up American Apparel and sweatshop-free products on Google. I was surprised by how much is out there, but EVERYTHING IS SO FREAKING EXPENSIVE! Which it would be, since the whole point of exploiting people is to create cheap enough products to compete in the global marketplace. Which leads me to the conclusion that living a moral lifestyle within the context of the global economy is impossible unless you're privileged enough to be able to regularly afford $250 jackets and $40 leggings and $50 t-shirts. Which leaves me even MORE bitter and helpless-feeling. Why is it so hard?!
the margin of page 21
On a slightly more hopeful note though, John Woolman never saw slavery get abolished. He definitely didn't do all that work for nothing - he just unfortunately never got to see his efforts come to fruition. And for Thursday we have to skim through everything and find our favorite quotes from everything we read in the class, and one of the ones I found from another Pendle Hill pamphlet by Daniel O. Snyder was: "Together we learn to discern the contours of hope, for although we yearn to see and to celebrate the visible results of our work, we dare not anchor hope in the visible results of our work, for we are working toward a future that may be many generation in the making, a future that we may not see in our lifetime, indeed a future that may never exist. We learned that the work itself is our sign of hope ("Quaker Witness as Sacrament" 30). So I guess that's kind of pessimistic and optimistic at the same time - despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure what I can do, in terms of being overwhelmed by trying to end all evils in the world ASAP, it's just not going to happen in my lifetime and I need to accept that. That doesn't mean I can't or shouldn't work towards improvement so that it might happen in generations to come.