Ramble on Maintaining My Jewishness in College

I decided that for the first time since sophomore or junior year of high school, I'm going to keep Passover this year. There are a few reasons for this. It has nothing to do with God, or an actual belief in the Passover story. In fact, my dad just told me that since the Egyptians have no record at all of the Israelites ever having been in Egypt, much less enslaved and then magically freed, the whole thing is likely a myth that the higher-ups fabricated back in the day to make the Jews appreciate (and feel indebted to) God. It's actually mainly because I feel like I haven't met my Jewish quota for the year, and I feel really disconnected from the whole thing. I went to Rosh Hashannah eve services with JSU, and then fasted on Yom Kippur because I didn't feel like actually going to temple. I've never really liked services all that much anyway - I'm much more of a community Jew than a God-focused one. So I'll do things like fast and not eat bread because I'm part of the community. Even so, I never go to any JSU events or Shabbat dinners, and if I had planned this ahead, I could've participated in the Passover co-op instead of doing it on my own. So yes, it's in the spirit of community, because many Jews are also abstaining from eating leavened bread at this time, but I'm also kind of failing at actually actively being part of the community.

Anyway, my first and so far only meal after sundown last night was lunch this morning, at which they had my favorite: burgers. I always put cheese and lettuce on my burger, so I just did that but with a fork and knife instead of putting it on a bun. Good Jew, right? Wrong. It took two of my non-Jewish friends to make me realize that cheeseburgers aren't kosher. ...Fail.

I keep saying I'll go to JSU events, especially cause there's non-DC food at a lot of them (food: a main Jewish priority), but I'm always just too busy or unmotivated or don't have a friend to go with. But all my life before college I was always at temple at least once a week for Hebrew School, which I went to through 12th grade; I served on two committees and was on the board of my youth group for three years. I'm facebook friends with both my rabbis (wait, everyone chill out, they're both young), and I'm still in touch with my youth group advisor (who incidentally graduated from Haverford in '07). But I got here and, poof, no more community Jew. I guess at home I didn't have to try. I also didn't have to feel bad about not keeping kosher for Passover, since I was at temple all the time anyway and didn't really see the purpose (quota, like I said, even if it's subconscious). But here I have to try, and actively think about how I'm going stay a part of this community. I have no back-up quota for if I don't want to go to High Holy Day services because I don't really like praying anyway, but still feel enough like a part of the community. If I don't go, and I don't keep kosher for passover, then I've done nothing Jewish the entire year, and then I feel like I'm abandoning it, which I don't want to do.

I don't know where this ramble was going. I think my cheeseburger fail earlier today just made me see the difference between my intentions, or my ideal, and what has actually ended up happening once I came to college. In theory, I'd love to go to JSU or whatever and keep up that part of my identity, but it just hasn't happened, and I feel like I'd be lying to myself if I made a promise to start being active once I come back from abroad. I guess we'll see.

Oh, and for your amusement, here are some Passover- or exodus-related videos: