Thursday, April 7, 2011
Existential Thoughts on Life and Death
You guys, I don't want to be depressing. But sometimes shit is fucking depressing, you know? I can't get this off my mind. I have this acquaintance. Friend. I don't know. I eat breakfast with her a couple times a week, but that's all I ever really see of her, and she's a good friend of a good friend. Beyond that, since some people at Haverford now read this, I don't want to identify her. But like, her sister died. In some freak accident on an exchange trip. I don't know what happened because I haven't asked, and honestly I'm getting this info from someone else's blog in the first place. But I can't stop thinking about it. Why the fuck would that happen? These two English teachers at my high school, Mr. Flaggert and Mr. Koup, always used to say in class whenever we studied anything remotely existential or involving death that it's like, at any second a plane could fall from the sky, or you could scratch your hand on the desk and get an infection, or someone could hit you driving home - anyone could die at any second. And then when I was a senior, they found this random blood clot in Mr. Koup's leg and he was in the hospital for a couple days, but they caught it removed it and he was fine. And we were all like "Holy shit it's true, he could've died from this random blood clot - anyone can die at any second." But you don't really grasp something like that. Why do "freak accidents" happen to random people? Why a 16-year-old with friends and a family? It's like this giant fluke in the world. And it's not even really my thing; I never knew her, and I'm not even that close to her sister. But I can't stop thinking about it. I just don't get why anyone should have to go through this.
3 comments:
THat just sucks! Lately I've been feeling death following me too. Last week my boyfrind's sick cat died on Monday. On Wednesday my grandma passed. I take philosofy MW at 1:00pm and thought and I recieved the news more or less in the same time frame both days. I thought to myself "I'm the oficial philosofy crybaby. Oh well.
About my grandma...she was 96 and I think anyone would be lucky to reach that age. Had a wonderful happy life <3. Still you're never really ready for death.
About the 16 year old in the accident. Those things freak me out too.
In january this guy I knew (friend of a friend) fell off a cruise ship. He was 21!!
I had seen him just 1 or 2 weeks before!!! It was in the local news for a while because of a contraversial security cam video which apparently shows him jumping off the boat. (the video was released to the press but not the part where he jumps out of respect for his family)
So people of course think suicide. Maybe he was really drunk, reckless. However in the video it shows him chitchatting with a woman who was cleaning the game room. (this was very late 3:00am) She says she told him he should probably go back to his room. I SAW THIS VIDEO WHEN IT GOT RELEASED!!! I saw his posture and smile while he was talking to the maitenance lady. It was sooo him..laid back, nice. You'd think ppl on the verge of suicide would be a tad jumpy. He leaves the game room, he's off to his room. On deck, he tries to open a few doors, they're locked. Then the video stops because that's when he jumps. Barley 1 or 2 minutes after talking with the lady!!!
The family says he probably tried to get on a ladder that is on the outside of the cruise ship. A STUPID IDEA!! but sometimes we don't think disasters happen to us. always somebody else. i think everyone can make at least one story from their past, interesting, maybe even funny (because nobody got hurt) of something that had it gone wrong, could have been fatal.
Point is he was a young guy who I knew and just died. IT FREAKS ME OUT TOO!!!
He was my friend's ex-boyfriend. One day I'm telling her not to call him back, that he's using her and is an asshole. Next day, he's gone and I'm crying.
Also, I'm currently freaked out by potential natural disasters. So many horrible earthquakes with devestating results have happened recently. Haiti, Japan.. Puerto Rico keeps having these small earthquakes quite frequently. I've been hoping to have a lot of small ones and spare a big one. Hoping with that the earth can do what it has to do...but what do I know about that??
Also, huge tsunami scare. The whorst part is, everybody else is scared too. And there's really not much preparation to be done..
Oh well...island stuff.
Guess my little empathy comment just turned into a diary entry..woops. Guess that happens.
Probably will post this on my blog. Thanks Liza! Hope everything is going well.
And life..well it includes death..:(
reread my comment now and noticed all the errors...yikes!
Haha no worries. I'm sorry about your grandma and your friend's ex boyfriend :( are you okay? Also one time my cousin's ex boyfriend was on a boat with his friends, and the driver was drunk and started doing figure-8s and the kid got thrown off headfirst into some wall. i was like, i spent two christmases with him, you know? and he was so young, too! but this girl, it wasn't anyone's fault. and i dont know what the accident was or if she was the only one who died, but it seems that the best friend she was with didn't die, which just strikes me as even more random. that's the thing about freak accidents. she just, like, randomly died. its so awful. i hope those little earthquakes don't end up turning into anything bigger? does that happen a lot or no?
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