Cuteness

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SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE
want to hug <3 :D

Dude, this blows my mind.

Watch this video.

I'm now having one of those, Holy-Crap-We-Are-SO-SMALL moments. How is it that we even exist?! How is it that everything exists? So much exists! And it's SO FAR AWAY!

Clearly this video has removed my ability to articulate just about anything. So fair warning.

Okay, so some scientists decide to do a little experiment, and we point our strongest telescope at so-called nothing, blackness. And what do we see? Three thousand galaxies. Oh, cool, so what we thought was empty space is actually 3000 galaxies moving away from us in some cases faster than the speed of light. And each one of those galaxies has hundreds of billions of stars. And some of those stars have planets and goodness even knows what else. And those are just the ones we saw at that moment with the limited capabilities of one telescope.

And we are just one little planet in one little galaxy, and for heaven's sake (no pun intended) we think we are the center of it all. We think the Sun is cool?! We think the Earth is special? SPACE IS SO BIG! Just think what's out there!!! And these light specs, these photons, have been just chilling, flying through space, for billions of years. That's so long!

Omg. It doesn't even look real. I don't know what to do with myself. My brain can't even comprehend. And probably about 30 seconds after I post this I won't really care that much anymore. But seriously, how cool is this?!

Ok I'm gonna go do something with my life now besides blog on a Friday night...

Ramble on September 11th, Etc.

First of all, Burn a Quran Day?! What the fuck. September 11th was once a day that brought Americans together, united the nation, reminded us of the ideals on which our country was founded. One of those is freedom of religion. How did this day, for some, turn into a day for hating all people of a certain faith?

I feel like I'm preaching to the choir. I'm pretty sure anyone reading this would agree with me that Islam is not a hateful, terrorism-happy religion. But how can we change the people behind Burn a Quran Day, behind the opposition to the mosque being built at Ground Zero? How can we stop people from thinking that Islam is an evil religion that has no place on American soil, much less near the site of an attack that was supposedly carried out by Islam as a whole?

And anyway, do I really have a right to claim that my preachings of love, tolerance, and so-called open-mindedness are any more legit than their unwavering belief that anyone who doesn't believe in Jesus as the savior/almighty/son of God is evil? Freedom of religion and speech, right? I mean, that's a bit extreme, but more generally, who am I to legitimately claim that my liberal beliefs are more legitimate than conservative beliefs, just because more people I know agree with me?

We have freedom of speech in this country. We have elections, so that the masses can have a voice and change the government if they want to. But sometimes I feel like the masses are getting dumber and dumber. Obviously that's a giant overstatement. It's not actually that many people; they're just disproportionately covered in the media. It's really not the masses at all. It's just that it gets me so angry.


So on a completely different note: May all those who passed away on September 11, 2001 rest in peace; may their families and friends find comfort; and may this country continue to move forward in strength and love.

Ramble on Multiculturalism

Wow, what a Haverfordian topic to ramble about. But of course, our discussions yesterday made me think, and when I think it's a good excuse to blog.

So if you go to Haverford, what I'm saying might be familiar, just because I feel like we talk about this so much. Or maybe just cause we talked about it yesterday. But my main pet peeve with how we tend to use the word "multicultural" on campus and even in society at large is that it tends to mean either "not white" or "including large number of races/ethnicities." So a multicultural student might be a student who isn't white, or if a high school adopts a multicultural standpoint (I know there's a better word but I'm sleep deprived and can't think of it), it embraces all the cultures - meaning races and immigrant ethnicities - of the students who go there, rather than trying to Americanize all of them or something.

But culture is a way broader word than that. It's not just about your skin color and where you're from. Culture can mean the food you eat, or the diversity of where you live, or your class, or the general socioeconomic status of the people where you live, or the traditions, or the commonly accepted values. So sure, ethnicity and race can cover a lot of those things, because people of one ethnicity might eat similar foods or hold the same general values. But although I feel like I'm not considered a multicultural student at Haverford because I'm white, I consider myself to be multicultural mainly because I'm Jewish and because I identify as LGBT and am so much a part of that community and those two cultures. (Or, well, I'm starting to have a problem with that acronym because the LGBT community tends to turn its back on its T members so often, but that's another ramble.) So while I and so many other white students here could bring a diverse perspective to things like Honor Council trials, we aren't considered to be "multicultural" members of a jury because we're white and thus not considered "multicultural." I feel like when we talk about multiculturalism here, we're talking about race, maybe country of origin or family origin. Who gets invited to Spectrum and Multicultural Weekend? Mostly specs of color. (Haha, that sounds like I took paint and flung it at a wall and then there were specs of color. Spec = Prospective student. Need sleep.) Then again, we aren't really asked to identify our sexuality or our religion on college applications, so how should they know? But there are other ways, I think. Like I put down youth group, temple committees, and GSA on my app. I just feel that race and nationality/ethnicity are not the only kinds of culture that should be included in the term "multiculturalism," especially at Haverford where we have a fairly diverse student body in so many aspects of life.

Ramble About Nothing

Yes, it is such a riveting topic. Actually, I don't know why you're bothering to read this. But whoever you are, I love you for it anyway.

So I am a freak when it comes to packing. I think I accidentally never unpacked, cause I live my life out of plastic drawers. Plus I've been in denial all summer that I was actually home, and had to wait to go back. So then on Sunday I was like okay I'll spend this week packing! Ready, go! *20 minutes later* Wait, what else needs to go in? Oh, just my clothes and toiletries...no I'm not allowed to do that til Friday. *waits*

Seriously though, thank goodness for my mom's van. I know I made fun of it because it's red, but it's been a lifesaver in terms of how much crap I have. And shout out to my dad for driving 6 hours with me on Saturday and 6 hours back on Sunday after I move in. Yeah, he's pretty awesome like that.

So now I'm just bored. I keep losing track of what day it is - since Sunday I've thought it was Friday. I accidentally referred to when I was leaving as "tomorrow" earlier today and scared the crap out of Charly. Whoops.

Also I'm not allowed to go to bed before midnight. I need to get off grandmother time, especially since I have to stay up til 4:30ish am whatever night that is. And I generally need to get back onto college time. It's 12:28, so I guess I'm technically allowed to go to bed, but I'm not really tired. Which is the goal. But I'm still bored. And sick of the internet. So why not blog if I'm sick of the internet, right? Yeah, that makes sense.

Or I can just facbook stalk my freshmen more. Always fun.
God I hope theyre not reading this.
It's out of love, I swear!
You'll understand when you meet me.
Or maybe you'll just think I'm weird. (More likely.)
Or maybe you'll understand if any of you someday have freshmen of your own.
Yeah, you'll understand eventually.
Hopefully.

Man, I should not have license to blabber like this online after a certain time of night. It just shouldn't be allowed because people will assume I'm on drugs, or drunk (I'm not, I pinky swear), and later I'll be embarrassed about it. (It's also way too early for me to be hitting the point of delirium. But hey, at least I'm awake - one step at a time.)

Oh well. Bonus points if you read this before I take it down.

Good night!

More Excitedness! :D

Things I am excited about:

• I GO BACK TO SCHOOL IN ONE WEEK!!!
• seeing everyone i miss like crazy!
• Bath and Body Works has new smells. I am way more excited about this than i should be, but hey, an obsession's an obsession.
• I'm currently on the cape with some of my best friends and we're gonna go to the beach
• I can smell breakfast cooking downstairs and it smells delicious
• I'm done with work! FREEDOM!!!
• I'm actually excited to pack for school. Yes, packing makes me excited.
• Everything I just added to the list of hopes/plans/dreams for next year.

Short Feminist Vent

Today, a male coworker, probably in his late 60's, referred to me as a "cutiepie." Hello. I am 19 years old. I am not a child. I'm sure he was very well intentioned, and on the spectrum of sketchy things this was very much not that bad. But seriously.

Today, and every day, the men in the elevator let me off first. To the point of awkwardness. One of them today (the one who wasn't my dad) was actually between me and the door, but he moved aside and gestured for me to exit first.

I don't want to have to exit the elevator first. I don't want to feel weird holding the door for my dad rather than the other way around, because I'm a woman and he's being chivalrous. "Ladies first." I hold the door for everyone. People hold doors for each other.

I'm not sure really why this is pissing me off. But I don't want to receive special treatment because I'm female. I consider myself to be people's equals, but I feel like I'm not being taken seriously as an equal when I'm being let off the elevator first, or referred to as a "cutiepie" by an older male coworker.

*sigh*

The Match Story, Part 2

http://www.thematchstory.com/

Boston Med
ABC, tonight at 10/9c
Joseph Helfgot's story

For anyone who wants to watch...

Edit: In the Boston area, it's airing on Channel 5, WCVB TV.

Songs on Repeat

There are two songs I'm currently obsessing over: King of Anything by Sara Bareilles and Blue Lips by Regina Spektor. Since I've had them stuck in my head for around three days straight, I figured I'd post the lyrics. I'm doing them from memory as best I can because 1. I'm really bored and 2. maybe it'll help get them out of my head.

King of Anything by Sara Bareilles

Keep drinking coffee stare me down across the table
As I look outside
So many things I'd say if only I were able
But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by

You've got opinions, man
We're all entitled to them
But I never asked
So I thank you for your time
And try not to waste any more of mine
Get out of here fast

I hate to break it to you babe
But I'm not drowning
There's no one here to save

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me how to be
Who died and made you king of anything?

You sound so innocent
All full of good intent
Swear you know best
But you expect me to
Jump up on board with you
Ride off into your delusional sunset

I'm not the one who's lost
With no direction, oh
But you'll never see
You're so busy making maps
With my name on them in all caps
You've got the talking down
But not the listening

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died and made you king of anything?

All my life, I've tried to make everybody happy while I
Just hurt, and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn to decide

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died and made you king of anything?

Let me hold your crown babe


Blue Lips by Regina Spektor

He stumbled into faith and thought,
God this is all there is
The pictures in his mind arose
And began to breathe
And all the gods and all the worlds
Began colliding on a backdrop of blue

Blue lips, blue veins

He took a step but then felt tired
He said I'll rest a little while
But when he tried to walk again
He wasn't a child
And all the people hurried past, real fast
And no one ever smiled

Blue lips, blue veins
Blue, the color of our planet from far far away
Blue lips, blue veins
Blue, the color of our planet from far far away

He stumbled into faith and thought,
God this is all there is
The pictures in his mind arose
And began to breathe
And no one saw and no one heard
They just followed lead
The pictures in his mind awoke
And began to breed

They started out beneath the knowledge tree
Then they chopped it down to make white picket fences
And they marched along the railroad tracks
They smiled real wide for the camera lenses
They made it past the enemy lines
Just to become enslaved in the assembly lines

Blue lips, blue veins
Blue, the color of our planet from far far away
Blue lips, blue veins
Blue, the color of our planet from far far away

Blue, the most human color...

Day 30 - Whatever Tickles Your Fancy

Warning: This post is kind of depressing, but not completely.

I know the woman who wrote this book. I knew her husband, and I'm friends with her older son Ben. I've known their family since before I can remember - we all vacationed together at Purity Spring Resort in New Hampshire the same week every summer since Ben and I were toddlers. "Same time, same place, every August." So I sort of have a personal connection to their lives and their story.

Joseph, Susan's husband and Ben and Jake's dad, had always had heart issues. I remember when we'd hike down this hill to Swift River every year to go tubing in the mini-rapids, he'd have some trouble getting back up. My mom would go with him a little early, before we all left, so he could take his time climbing up the hill. I knew something was wrong with his heart, but I think I was around 7 the first time I remember this happening, so I didn't think much of it. He seemed generally fine.

It got to the point where he really needed a heart transplant - actually, for maybe a year or so he was basically surviving from this mechanical heart...I don't really understand the medical aspects of it, to be honest. They finally found a match for him, but after the transplant he didn't wake up. He'd had a stroke or something. I think this was early my senior year, and I remember crying while I was driving to school that morning. He wasn't gone yet, but we'd gotten a call from another Purity family telling us what was going on, that he was on life support and they were waiting for his older children from a previous marriage to fly in before letting him go.

Ever since Joseph's problems had started and it had been clear that he'd need to be an organ donation recipient, or maybe before that, his family had always been really big supporters of organ donation. At Jake's bar mitzvah, they'd given out lime green Donate Life wrist bands to everyone. And when Joseph passed away, not only was he able to re-donate his new heart (which is rare), but the doctors came to Susan and asked if she'd give consent for him to donate his face to a recipient who'd had some sort of accident. Maybe you heard about it on the news - I think it might've been the first face donation in the U.S. or something. That was Joseph.

Now Susan is semi-famous. There was a write-up about her and Joseph's story in the Boston Globe when they did Bostonians of the Year, and then she wrote a book and started the Joseph Helfgot Foundation, and now his story is being covered on Boston Med, which is this TV show on ABC. She's creating so much life from their loss. She's amazing.

It makes me sad that Joseph's not around to see it. It makes me feel weird that all of this has happened kind of in the name of his death, without his knowing about it. I think he'd be proud though. It also makes me wonder about this belief I've always had, and I remember being taught it at temple once but I don't remember ever really being taught it after that, which is that when you do good things, you shouldn't expect recognition. But I don't think that means recognition has to be bad, when you can use that recognition for further selfless purposes, for example to spread your message of life and hope and show other people how important organ donations can be.

Anyway, I felt like rambling on that right now because we just got the news about her book's coming out and the beginning of the Joseph Helfgot Foundation. Not exactly a pick-me-up, but important to talk and think about nonetheless.

Day 29 - Hopes, Dreams and Plans for the Next 365 Days

So close to the end of this thing! I like how it's taken me the whole summer to do it, not just 30 days. Oh well.

So hopes, dreams, and plans. Hmmm. I hope/dream/plan to:

• Make new friends at school, especially freshmen, but also remain just as close to my friends from last year.
• Also stay close to my high school friends, as we have this year.
• Travel! Road trips, plane rides, whatever. See new places.
• Have an awesome Customs experience the second time around. Be a good CP, avoid horrible conflicts/issues or at least deal with them reasonably well, be a good mentor and supporter to my freshmen while also being friends with them and having a fairly close, fun hall, learn from my freshmen and Customs experience and hopefully they'll learn from me too, have awesome discussions during PAFs etc, maintain a close customs team with good communication and teamwork.
• Something in the dating/relationship realm? Maybe? Just sayin'...
• Improve the whole home situation, or at least maintain the improvements from this past year.
• Finalize my major/minor (Psych/Spanish?) and study abroad plans (Argentina!!!), and be happy with my decision.
• Figure out my summer plans.
• Take interesting classes that I enjoy, learn a ton, share my knowledge, not get too stressed out, gain a clearer idea of what my interests are, fulfill more requirements, get grades I'm happy with.
• Have Bryn Mawr lunches MWF first semester with Fairleigh, Alex, and Josh!
• Finish up my PE requirement.
• Go to the gym more. For real. This needs to happen.
• Find more things to ramble about so I can keep this blog going.
• Maintain balance in my life between academics, customs, friends, all my other activities, maybe a job, and general free time; keep a firm grip on my sanity and not let my stress levels get too high.
• Avoid too much drama.
• Not spend too much money.
• Do everything in moderation.
• Be just as happy with myself and my life at the end of it as I am now, if not more so.
• Do fun things over breaks, including visiting people at school and something else that's fun or at least relaxing over spring break.
• Visit Sarah at Hamilton at some point during the year.
• Get a job during the year.
• Work with the CDO to figure out winter break/June internships or jobs in a field I'm actually interested in - psychology or non-profits, or something else I/we come up with.
• Continue to be there for my friends.
• Do lots of things that make me happy.
• Do lots of things that make others happy.
• Have an awsome year!

Edit: inspired by Aubree's facebook note, i'm adding some fun, more Haver-specific things to this list. i think i was in a serious mood when i wrote what's above. (and anyway, copying is the highest form of flattery, right? :P) so here are some more:

• Lots of stargazing, with everyone. also the daytime equivalent which is laying out on Gummere and Founders greens
• Taking more sunset pictures with Hannah
• Run a kick-ass group with Abby! (step 1...become a real club. *cough Jason McGraw answer my email cough*)
• Late-night trips to Wawa; pints of ice cream may be consumed
• eating too many fries at the Coop
• Adventures in Philly! more eating at Sansom Kabob
• 3/2, 3rd section, and customs cousin adventures! which will hopefully involve philly, food, and fun
• Run away to cook/bake/do work in Alex, Jake, and Alec's apartment. home-made confections are a must.
• Movie nights with Fairleigh and Emily and Alex and Josh anyone else who wants to join
• watching more 30 Rock and The Office and Fringe late at night with Fairleigh and Alex
• avoiding getting the stomach flu and/or swine flu
• creating more delicious DC concoctions
• baking pie at Swat with Hilary and Erica
• lots of tri-co visiting in general
• eating at Panera and that diner, which are driving distance but too far to walk
• other adventures with my car! (who's up for road trips? driving to the beach? anything along similar lines?)
• founders dances!!! which will inevitably include some crazy outfits

omg i smell bacon cooking downstairs...gotta run! :P i'll add more as i think of them.

Happiness in Website Form

http://dailysquee.com/

If you've never seen this website, go look at it. In fact, if you have seen this website, go look at it. It will make you happier. :D

This just confuses me.

see more If Shoes Could Kill

For your reading pleasure...

An article on agnosticism!

Courtesy of Hannah Brower via Facebook.

Ramble on That Thing Called Love

This is one that always eludes me. What the hell is love anyway? When I say love, I mean "I Love You" kind of love, with capital letters, as in being in love with someone. How can you define that???

Whatever it is, it calls for a ramble. (A really, really long ramble, apparently. This might actually be the rambliest ramble I've ever written. Whoops.) So here goes.

In my philosophy class first semester, we talked about how reason separates humans from animals, but I think emotion does too. I don't think love is just an instinct – I don't think animals can feel this kind of love. I think it's more of a deep emotional connection that is a distinctively human phenomenon. And I think it takes time to create this connection, which is why I don't believe in love at first sight. I believe in lust at first sight, and really awesome chemistry at first sight, but I don't think you can love someone without knowing him or her incredibly well. But at the same time, I'm not sure if you can really put a time frame on how long that takes either. I mean, I know of many times when people have said "I Love You" too soon, before they really meant it. That's bad. But can you ever really advise those people, "You need to wait at least a month," or something like that? How fast can love happen? How fast can you really get to know a person? Or do you really have to get to know them all that well before you feel that thing that you identify as being Love? I feel like it’s a gradual thing; it's not just a black and white, I'm in love or I'm not. Even though we make it black and white because when someone says it, there's this moment when it's established. But how else would we express it for sure, than that moment when we say it out loud? There's always the "I'm falling for you" line - that shows how it's gradual - but how do you really know (other than "you just know") when you've fallen for someone?

Which of course brings up the issue of how to know you're actually in love, and don't just have a super big crush, or just feel really comfortable, or it's just been long enough that you're sick of not having said it. I'd like to believe that it's more complicated than [time + really big crush + feeling comfortable + chemistry = Love]. I've heard, as I mentioned, that "You Just Know," which I'm putting in capital letters because it's intimidating and scary (at least to me). What if you just think you know, and you really believe you know, and then you realize you were wrong? Saying "I Love You" and not meaning it, or having to take it back later, is basically one of the worst things ever. It's something you never want to hear taken back.

But what if you thought you loved someone, and then it turned out that they weren't the person you thought they were? I think that all we can ever really understand of anyone is the concept of that person we have in our own mind, which will always be flawed and limited. So can we ever really love another person, or can we only really love our concept of that person and who we think they are? That's kind of depressing. Or maybe it isn't. All we can know about even ourselves is our self-concept, which can be just as twisted and wrong as our concept of someone else. It's just how the mind works. (Thank you, Social Cognition term paper.)

Going back to when to say "I Love You," I once read a quote that was something like, "Don’t make decisions when angry, and don’t make promises when happy." I knew the first part, but I hadn't really thought about the second. It makes sense, though. Just like you can be overly mean and unfair when you're all upset and riled up, you can be unrealistically optimistic when you're in a really good mood. And to say "I Love You" is kind of like a promise. It's like a promise that you mean it, and all of the things that go along with that. So maybe people shouldn't say I Love You when really, really happy at the moment, just like we shouldn't send nasty, unfair emails or texts when we're mad; we need to wait until we're emotionally balanced again to make sure we're saying what we really mean.

And off on another tangent, is anyone else really annoyed by how difficult it is to say "I love you" to a significant other without its meaning that you're in love with that person? I feel like when you're flirting, or you're first start something with someone, or even if you've been in it for awhile but aren't ready to proclaim that you're in love with them, the natural reaction so often is to say I love you, but then you don't because that phrase is off limits or something. It's reserved for something bigger. But you can love someone without being in love with them. There are so many different kinds of love. So why do we censor ourselves and find something else to say when we want to say I love you, but not to mean that we're in love? It's silly. I think we should be able to say it, and then when we mean to say that we're in love with someone we should just say that, I'm In Love With You.

Ok, I think that’s enough rambling on this topic, seeing as I could probably ramble about it forever and ever, and I basically already have. :P

Wow, that was long...