Day 30 - Whatever Tickles Your Fancy

Warning: This post is kind of depressing, but not completely.

I know the woman who wrote this book. I knew her husband, and I'm friends with her older son Ben. I've known their family since before I can remember - we all vacationed together at Purity Spring Resort in New Hampshire the same week every summer since Ben and I were toddlers. "Same time, same place, every August." So I sort of have a personal connection to their lives and their story.

Joseph, Susan's husband and Ben and Jake's dad, had always had heart issues. I remember when we'd hike down this hill to Swift River every year to go tubing in the mini-rapids, he'd have some trouble getting back up. My mom would go with him a little early, before we all left, so he could take his time climbing up the hill. I knew something was wrong with his heart, but I think I was around 7 the first time I remember this happening, so I didn't think much of it. He seemed generally fine.

It got to the point where he really needed a heart transplant - actually, for maybe a year or so he was basically surviving from this mechanical heart...I don't really understand the medical aspects of it, to be honest. They finally found a match for him, but after the transplant he didn't wake up. He'd had a stroke or something. I think this was early my senior year, and I remember crying while I was driving to school that morning. He wasn't gone yet, but we'd gotten a call from another Purity family telling us what was going on, that he was on life support and they were waiting for his older children from a previous marriage to fly in before letting him go.

Ever since Joseph's problems had started and it had been clear that he'd need to be an organ donation recipient, or maybe before that, his family had always been really big supporters of organ donation. At Jake's bar mitzvah, they'd given out lime green Donate Life wrist bands to everyone. And when Joseph passed away, not only was he able to re-donate his new heart (which is rare), but the doctors came to Susan and asked if she'd give consent for him to donate his face to a recipient who'd had some sort of accident. Maybe you heard about it on the news - I think it might've been the first face donation in the U.S. or something. That was Joseph.

Now Susan is semi-famous. There was a write-up about her and Joseph's story in the Boston Globe when they did Bostonians of the Year, and then she wrote a book and started the Joseph Helfgot Foundation, and now his story is being covered on Boston Med, which is this TV show on ABC. She's creating so much life from their loss. She's amazing.

It makes me sad that Joseph's not around to see it. It makes me feel weird that all of this has happened kind of in the name of his death, without his knowing about it. I think he'd be proud though. It also makes me wonder about this belief I've always had, and I remember being taught it at temple once but I don't remember ever really being taught it after that, which is that when you do good things, you shouldn't expect recognition. But I don't think that means recognition has to be bad, when you can use that recognition for further selfless purposes, for example to spread your message of life and hope and show other people how important organ donations can be.

Anyway, I felt like rambling on that right now because we just got the news about her book's coming out and the beginning of the Joseph Helfgot Foundation. Not exactly a pick-me-up, but important to talk and think about nonetheless.