OMG, not another one

oh wait, yes it is:


Part 01- The celebrity you’d do unthinkable, illegal things to, male and female.
Part 02 - Write a letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Part 03 - A photo of you in a drunken state.
Part 04 - The best concert/gig you have been to.
Part 05 - A photo of yourself, not taken by you. 
Part 06 - What you did today- in detail. 
Part 07 - Quote one of the nicest messages you have ever recieved on ask/formspring. 
Part 08 - List the people you have slept with by their initials.
Part 09 - A song that has lyrics you’d consider getting tattooed. 
Part 10 - A photo from the last social event you went to.
Part 11 - What would I find in your bag? 
Part 12 - Someone/something you don’t like.
Part 13 - What you want more than anything right now. 
Part 14 - A letter to someone. Anyone. 
Part 15 - Something you regret. 
Part 16 - A list of songs that make you emotional. 
Part 17 - A picture of you last year and how you have changed since then. 
Part 18 - What you think about your friends. 
Part 19 - A picture of you and your family.
Part 20 - A habit you wish you didn’t have.
Part 21 - Another celebrity you’d like in your bed. 
Part 22 - Song lyrics you can really relate to at the moment. 
Part 23 - The next plan you have coming up that you’re really excited for. 
Part 24 - The last photo taken of you and someone else. 
Part 25 - A photo of someone you fancy at the moment. 
Part 26 - A secret.
Part 27 - A photo of someone who has had a big impact on you. 
Part 28 - A photo of anything. 
Part 29 - Plans/dreams/goals you have.
Part 30 - What have you learned in the past 30 days


not that i don't like rambling about random stuff that pops into my head, but i feel like this blog can get kind of deep and serious, and sometimes when i'm bored i just want to post random things. so i guess i'll try to go in order, but other than that im not taking this one too seriously. it's just something for inspiration when i'm bored and don't really have anything to ramble about.

Ramble Inspired by Quaker Meeting

Just a heads up: this one is mostly for me to sort out my thoughts. I just feel like posting it online in case someone else is interested or feels like commenting on anything I'm saying, which is always welcome. It's going to be a long and convoluted ramble about Judaism, Quakerism, and agnosticism, and it's going to be mostly about myself.

So this morning I went to Quaker Meeting with Josh and Olivia. Olivia goes every week, and Josh and I were going because we have an assignment for Quaker Social Witness class to attend a Quaker event and then reflect on it. I really like that class - it's giving me a whole new insight into a really cool religion, and beyond that the set of beliefs and ideals that have led my school to run the way it does.

The thing is, I feel like I'm kind of on this spiritual journey. Gag me, that sounds so cliché. But I feel like a lot of people hit this around college; you've been brought up one way, and all of a sudden the whole world is open to you and you're not sure what you believe in anymore. Not that I've always believed in the Judeo-Christian God, or in Adonai, or whatever you want to call him/her/it. I have a really hard time with the concept of faith in something that you can't prove is there, but something that a book said did thus-and-such thousands of years ago. I'm not okay with ruling out the presence of (a) higher power(s), because hell, life exists and that's crazy. But I don't think that whatever power or powers that exist are within the realm of human understanding. And anthropologically, it makes sense that people create religion for themselves, and Christianity happens to be the one that's dominant in this country, and Judaism happens to be the one I was brought up in, and Quakerism happens to be the one I have started experiencing more of this year.

That said, I do want some sort of spirituality in my life. It doesn't have to be related to God with a capital G, nor does it have to be related to Light or Truth with a capital L and T. I am ridiculously small, and I am part of things greater than myself. And anyway, religion isn't just about God; it's about values and morals and how a person should live his or her life.

So during this class, I've been entertaining the thought of Quakerism in my mind. The main testimonies of Quakerism are the SPICES - Simplicity, Peace, Integrity, Community, Equality, and Stewardship. In other words: not living too lavishly, living peacefully and not supporting war/violence/conflict, being honest in words and actions, valuing the communities of which we are apart and collective opinion, understanding that all humans are equal and that there is the Light of God in everyone, and concern for the environment. These are all things that I agree with, and things that I want to work on in my life. Plus, a lot of Quakers have come to Quakerism from other faiths, although most of them are from other divisions of Protestantism. I mean, Quakerism is a sect of Christianity. Quakers are Christian. That's kind of a problem for me I think. And at first I just thought it was about guilt, the amazing Jewish value. But I think it's more than guilt and a sense of obligation. I still want to raise my kids Jewish, and stay a part of the community, because the community is ridiculously important to me and has played a pretty big role in my life. However, there's also this voice in my head saying that sending said kids to a Quaker school would be a really awesome environment for them (hypothetically), and that those are values that I'd want them to be strongly exposed to, and that I like the ideas of silence and an individual relationship with whatever it is you want to believe in.

Also, going to Meeting today made me see a lot of the differences between Quaker worship and Reform Jewish worship. First of all, I really like the silence. I like that everyone can have their own personal relationship with whatever it is they believe in - God, Truth, Light, the Inner Guide, themselves, the community, whathaveyou. Also, I like the idea of being moved by said force(s) to speak out of the silence and share a message with the community. Plus, I like how decisions are made in the Quaker community - consensus, because everyone is equal and every voice counts. But it's missing so much of what I was brought up in. Music, for one. Emotion. The silence is very calming, but the prayers I'm familiar with are joyous, sad, exciting, solemnly reflective. They have a lot in them that one doesn't get from silence, even if I don't find that everything in every Jewish prayers resonates with me. In fact, there is a lot in them that doesn't resonate with me at all, particularly about God, because I don't think that's the God I believe in, so why should I pray like that? But at the same time, I have no real desire to leave Judaism. I'm okay with being connected mostly to the community and the traditions of it. (And hello, the FOOD.)

So I guess that leaves me with answers, but at the same time not really at all. But I shouldn't have answers at this point in my life. I think I want to keep going to Meeting. In the future, like way in the future, I wouldn't mind going to Meeting, but I don't know if I want to be a member (there's a difference between member and attender) because I'm not Christian. And I don't think I want to give up Judaism for Quakerism, or give up Judaism in general. I think that if I'm doing Quakerism, I'm doing both. I don't know if that makes sense or can be done, but when I think about it, it's perfectly okay to like both or to be somewhere in between. And who's to say that I can't send my kids to a Quaker school (if I have that kind of money...) and take them to Meeting but also to Temple too so that they're part of that community? Although I guess that gets kind of confusing after awhile, since what do you do about First Day School vs. Hebrew School? But thinking about this now is honestly kind of silly, and probably unrealistic, since whoever I end up with will obviously weigh in a lot, like 50%. But Meeting got me thinking, and I hadn't really told anyone that all this was on my mind. So here you go: my ramble for today.

Stuck in my head...

On occasion, I get Hebrew prayers stuck in my head for no reason. I guess something about a tune and a string of syllables I know by heart but don't understand is conducive to popping into my head at random times. Anyway, my ramble on prayer is a whole 'nuther issue, but right now I have the Mi Shebeirach stuck in my head (the prayer for healing), specifically the version by Debbie Friedman, which is part in Hebrew and part in English. There are a couple English lines in there that are resonating with me right now:

May the source of strength who blessed the ones before us
Help us find the courage to make our lives a blessing
And let us say, Amen

I feel like it's a lot of what I'm feeling in Quaker Social Witness right now, of not knowing what I believe in (whether this source of strength is a "who" or not, for example), but knowing that I want to make a difference and live a good life. So may whatever has motivated and strengthened all those who came before me, give me the strength and courage to make my life a blessing as well.

Nocturno Preso

Normally I don't like poetry analysis even in English much less of avant-garde Spanish poetry, but I really like this one we have to read for class, so I'm posting it.

Nocturno Preso
Prisionero de mi frente
el sueño quiere escapar
y fuera de mí probar
a todos que es inocente.
Oigo su voz impaciente,
miro su gesto y su estado
amenazador, airado.
No sabe que soy el sueño
de otro: si fuera su dueño
ya lo habría libertado.

My translation (although the original one rhymes):

Nocturnal Prisoner
Prisoner of my forehead
the dream wants to escape
and outside of me prove
to all that it's innocent.
I hear its impatient voice
I see its gesture and its state:
threatening, angry.
It doesn't know that I'm the dream
of another: if I were its owner
I already would've freed it.

More Pictures

Two new posts? WHAT?!

Basically these pictures make me happy, so I'm posting them. I took them in New Hampshire yesterday and today.

Ramble on How Technology Makes Us Antisocial

Yes, that's right. Facebook makes you antisocial. I mean, not within facebook, obviously. It's a social networking site. What I mean is, it makes you antisocial in real life. Not completely, obviously. Most of us have friends in real life too. And I know I'm a really big hypocrite, but I feel like rambling about it anyway.

My dad just got a crackberry. That thing can get internet all the time. You know all those things you do to procrastinate doing your homework because the internet has endless possibilities? Well now you can take that anywhere. So we were in a shoe store, and he was watching ESPN.com refreshing the baseball game play-by-play. We were standing in a restaurant entrance waiting for my mom, and instead of talking to me, he was checking his email. Antisocial. And I really want one, too, which just makes it even worse. I don't claim immunity from all this. The temptation to retreat into our world of screens and computers and updates is everywhere.

But you know what's not included in screens and computers and updates? Real live people, who you can actually get to know. As much as I love to facebook stalk, you can never really know what someone's like just by looking at their facebook profile. The only thing you can say for sure about them is what they chose to put on their facebook profile. Even now, there are people who I stalked on facebook before getting to know them, and now it almost seems like their facebook persona and their real life persona are two different people. But it's natural to think you can really know someone that way, since there's so much information on there. Plus there's the whole communication thing; people don't say the same things online that they'd say in person. Sure, who doesn't like it when people like their statuses and comment on them? I like dialogues online, and feedback on my pictures. It's awesome to get 500,000 wall posts on your birthday, but you know what? That's cheating. You wouldn't have known it was my birthday if facebook hadn't told you, unless you're one of the handful of people who actually know my birthday. (It's May 20th, by the way.) Sure, sometimes facebook is an extension of my IRL social life. Maybe I was talking to someone about something in the DC and then left a link about it on their wall. And sometimes it's just a really convenient way to get in touch with that random kid from Spanish class to ask about homework, or to stay in touch with friends who don't live near me who I don't get to see that often. But it can never replace actual friendships, actual late-night secret sharing and hugs and adventures.

My dad and I were also talking once about having TVs in restaurants. It's just another example of technology being everywhere, grabbing your attention away from the people right in front of you. When I'm sitting across from my parents at a table, and some random hockey game is going on above their heads, I'm going to watch the hockey game just because it's moving. I don't have the slightest interest in watching hockey. But it makes me antisocial, and I know I'm not the only one who does it.

I mean, come on...right now I'm in the car with my parents, driving home from New Hampshire. And you know what I'm doing? I'm typing on my laptop, headphones in ears, multitasking between this, editing photos, and texting a friend. It's borderline irritating when my parents want to talk to me because I have to make the music go away and break my focus from the illuminated screen in front of me.

Technology. Progressing the entire world to new levels of awesomeness, and also making us that much more antisocial.

Random Picture

I just came across this photo in my miscellaneous pictures folder. I found it somewhere random online, probably through stumbleupon, and unfortunately I never wrote down who took it. But it's pretty sick.

Ramble on Internet Wiretapping

Take a look at this article, which was in the subject line of my NY Times email this morning.

The gist is, terrorists used to communicate via means that the government could easily tap - mainly the telephone - but now there are ways of communication that the government doesn't have the technological ability intercept. For example, encrypted emails (such as those trasmitted by BlackBerries), Facebook, and Skype. So now, the Obama administration is planning to submit a bill to Congress that would basically require such means of communication to be interceptable.

According to the article, new requirements would be:

• Communications services that encrypt messages must have a way to unscramble them.
• Foreign-based providers that do business inside the United States must install a domestic office capable of performing intercepts.
• Developers of software that enables peer-to-peer communication must redesign their service to allow interception.

I can't decide how I feel about this. Of course, my gut reaction is "Hey government, get off my Facebook and get out of my inbox!" I mean no one wants the government to be able to hack into their Skype conversations or arrest them because they wrote "Obama sucks" on someone else's Facebook wall. Plus, it's reminding me of post-9/11 Bush all over again (although to be fair, most of the information I have on the whole arresting-innocent-people thing comes from Farenheit 911). But still, I thought we were maybe moving away from the Patriot Act and back towards privacy except with a warrant.

Then again, maybe it's not such a bad thing. Why should there be such a loophole, such a gap in our security where terrorists can easily communicate? Before the technologies developed away from it, the government could always intercept communications. And really, the main purpose of the FBI and the CIA is to keep us safe. This supposed bill wouldn't even give them more power per se, it would just maintain the investigative powers the government already has, and anyway, no one says that they're going to be banging down doors and torturing people for three days just because of an "Obama sucks" comment. So it's fine, as long as they don't abuse this power. Right? Or should they not be able to tap private communications in the first place? When is it Big Brother, and when is it protecting the well-being of American citizens?

For example, the Times Square bombing that failed in May might've been prevented completely if the government had been able to intercept the terrorists' communications. Investigations into things like drug cartels would be possible. It seems like it's in our best interests for our governmental intelligence agencies not to be hindered in working to stop terrorists. What they do makes all of us safer. So where's the line where those of us who have nothing to fear sacrifice some personal privacy in order to increase national security? But then again, how can we really trust that the government will use that power well if it's granted? Based on the fact that technologies have moved away from being interceptable by the government, is it really fair to require the creators of such technologies to put time, money, and effort into altering their systems just so that the government can hack in?

Mmkay, I think this ramble is long enough. We'll see if this plan even goes anywhere. But it surprised me when I read about it this morning, and then I talked about it with some people at lunch, and I figured it'd be a good topic to ramble about.

Cuteness

see more Daily Squee

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE
want to hug <3 :D

Dude, this blows my mind.

Watch this video.

I'm now having one of those, Holy-Crap-We-Are-SO-SMALL moments. How is it that we even exist?! How is it that everything exists? So much exists! And it's SO FAR AWAY!

Clearly this video has removed my ability to articulate just about anything. So fair warning.

Okay, so some scientists decide to do a little experiment, and we point our strongest telescope at so-called nothing, blackness. And what do we see? Three thousand galaxies. Oh, cool, so what we thought was empty space is actually 3000 galaxies moving away from us in some cases faster than the speed of light. And each one of those galaxies has hundreds of billions of stars. And some of those stars have planets and goodness even knows what else. And those are just the ones we saw at that moment with the limited capabilities of one telescope.

And we are just one little planet in one little galaxy, and for heaven's sake (no pun intended) we think we are the center of it all. We think the Sun is cool?! We think the Earth is special? SPACE IS SO BIG! Just think what's out there!!! And these light specs, these photons, have been just chilling, flying through space, for billions of years. That's so long!

Omg. It doesn't even look real. I don't know what to do with myself. My brain can't even comprehend. And probably about 30 seconds after I post this I won't really care that much anymore. But seriously, how cool is this?!

Ok I'm gonna go do something with my life now besides blog on a Friday night...

Ramble on September 11th, Etc.

First of all, Burn a Quran Day?! What the fuck. September 11th was once a day that brought Americans together, united the nation, reminded us of the ideals on which our country was founded. One of those is freedom of religion. How did this day, for some, turn into a day for hating all people of a certain faith?

I feel like I'm preaching to the choir. I'm pretty sure anyone reading this would agree with me that Islam is not a hateful, terrorism-happy religion. But how can we change the people behind Burn a Quran Day, behind the opposition to the mosque being built at Ground Zero? How can we stop people from thinking that Islam is an evil religion that has no place on American soil, much less near the site of an attack that was supposedly carried out by Islam as a whole?

And anyway, do I really have a right to claim that my preachings of love, tolerance, and so-called open-mindedness are any more legit than their unwavering belief that anyone who doesn't believe in Jesus as the savior/almighty/son of God is evil? Freedom of religion and speech, right? I mean, that's a bit extreme, but more generally, who am I to legitimately claim that my liberal beliefs are more legitimate than conservative beliefs, just because more people I know agree with me?

We have freedom of speech in this country. We have elections, so that the masses can have a voice and change the government if they want to. But sometimes I feel like the masses are getting dumber and dumber. Obviously that's a giant overstatement. It's not actually that many people; they're just disproportionately covered in the media. It's really not the masses at all. It's just that it gets me so angry.


So on a completely different note: May all those who passed away on September 11, 2001 rest in peace; may their families and friends find comfort; and may this country continue to move forward in strength and love.

Ramble on Multiculturalism

Wow, what a Haverfordian topic to ramble about. But of course, our discussions yesterday made me think, and when I think it's a good excuse to blog.

So if you go to Haverford, what I'm saying might be familiar, just because I feel like we talk about this so much. Or maybe just cause we talked about it yesterday. But my main pet peeve with how we tend to use the word "multicultural" on campus and even in society at large is that it tends to mean either "not white" or "including large number of races/ethnicities." So a multicultural student might be a student who isn't white, or if a high school adopts a multicultural standpoint (I know there's a better word but I'm sleep deprived and can't think of it), it embraces all the cultures - meaning races and immigrant ethnicities - of the students who go there, rather than trying to Americanize all of them or something.

But culture is a way broader word than that. It's not just about your skin color and where you're from. Culture can mean the food you eat, or the diversity of where you live, or your class, or the general socioeconomic status of the people where you live, or the traditions, or the commonly accepted values. So sure, ethnicity and race can cover a lot of those things, because people of one ethnicity might eat similar foods or hold the same general values. But although I feel like I'm not considered a multicultural student at Haverford because I'm white, I consider myself to be multicultural mainly because I'm Jewish and because I identify as LGBT and am so much a part of that community and those two cultures. (Or, well, I'm starting to have a problem with that acronym because the LGBT community tends to turn its back on its T members so often, but that's another ramble.) So while I and so many other white students here could bring a diverse perspective to things like Honor Council trials, we aren't considered to be "multicultural" members of a jury because we're white and thus not considered "multicultural." I feel like when we talk about multiculturalism here, we're talking about race, maybe country of origin or family origin. Who gets invited to Spectrum and Multicultural Weekend? Mostly specs of color. (Haha, that sounds like I took paint and flung it at a wall and then there were specs of color. Spec = Prospective student. Need sleep.) Then again, we aren't really asked to identify our sexuality or our religion on college applications, so how should they know? But there are other ways, I think. Like I put down youth group, temple committees, and GSA on my app. I just feel that race and nationality/ethnicity are not the only kinds of culture that should be included in the term "multiculturalism," especially at Haverford where we have a fairly diverse student body in so many aspects of life.

Ramble About Nothing

Yes, it is such a riveting topic. Actually, I don't know why you're bothering to read this. But whoever you are, I love you for it anyway.

So I am a freak when it comes to packing. I think I accidentally never unpacked, cause I live my life out of plastic drawers. Plus I've been in denial all summer that I was actually home, and had to wait to go back. So then on Sunday I was like okay I'll spend this week packing! Ready, go! *20 minutes later* Wait, what else needs to go in? Oh, just my clothes and toiletries...no I'm not allowed to do that til Friday. *waits*

Seriously though, thank goodness for my mom's van. I know I made fun of it because it's red, but it's been a lifesaver in terms of how much crap I have. And shout out to my dad for driving 6 hours with me on Saturday and 6 hours back on Sunday after I move in. Yeah, he's pretty awesome like that.

So now I'm just bored. I keep losing track of what day it is - since Sunday I've thought it was Friday. I accidentally referred to when I was leaving as "tomorrow" earlier today and scared the crap out of Charly. Whoops.

Also I'm not allowed to go to bed before midnight. I need to get off grandmother time, especially since I have to stay up til 4:30ish am whatever night that is. And I generally need to get back onto college time. It's 12:28, so I guess I'm technically allowed to go to bed, but I'm not really tired. Which is the goal. But I'm still bored. And sick of the internet. So why not blog if I'm sick of the internet, right? Yeah, that makes sense.

Or I can just facbook stalk my freshmen more. Always fun.
God I hope theyre not reading this.
It's out of love, I swear!
You'll understand when you meet me.
Or maybe you'll just think I'm weird. (More likely.)
Or maybe you'll understand if any of you someday have freshmen of your own.
Yeah, you'll understand eventually.
Hopefully.

Man, I should not have license to blabber like this online after a certain time of night. It just shouldn't be allowed because people will assume I'm on drugs, or drunk (I'm not, I pinky swear), and later I'll be embarrassed about it. (It's also way too early for me to be hitting the point of delirium. But hey, at least I'm awake - one step at a time.)

Oh well. Bonus points if you read this before I take it down.

Good night!

More Excitedness! :D

Things I am excited about:

• I GO BACK TO SCHOOL IN ONE WEEK!!!
• seeing everyone i miss like crazy!
• Bath and Body Works has new smells. I am way more excited about this than i should be, but hey, an obsession's an obsession.
• I'm currently on the cape with some of my best friends and we're gonna go to the beach
• I can smell breakfast cooking downstairs and it smells delicious
• I'm done with work! FREEDOM!!!
• I'm actually excited to pack for school. Yes, packing makes me excited.
• Everything I just added to the list of hopes/plans/dreams for next year.

Short Feminist Vent

Today, a male coworker, probably in his late 60's, referred to me as a "cutiepie." Hello. I am 19 years old. I am not a child. I'm sure he was very well intentioned, and on the spectrum of sketchy things this was very much not that bad. But seriously.

Today, and every day, the men in the elevator let me off first. To the point of awkwardness. One of them today (the one who wasn't my dad) was actually between me and the door, but he moved aside and gestured for me to exit first.

I don't want to have to exit the elevator first. I don't want to feel weird holding the door for my dad rather than the other way around, because I'm a woman and he's being chivalrous. "Ladies first." I hold the door for everyone. People hold doors for each other.

I'm not sure really why this is pissing me off. But I don't want to receive special treatment because I'm female. I consider myself to be people's equals, but I feel like I'm not being taken seriously as an equal when I'm being let off the elevator first, or referred to as a "cutiepie" by an older male coworker.

*sigh*